The past 8,760 hours

It's New Year’s Eve and by the time you read this, the clock will likely have ticked past the mark of the New Year, bringing 2014 to a close. 

365 days, 52 weeks and 8,760 hours.  That is what we all got in 2014. 

I don’t know how your year went for you, some of you probably feel good about how you spent it and some of you may have some regrets.  

I have so many thoughts and emotions as I look back at this year.  I am insanely proud, I'm grateful, exhausted, at times peaceful and other times hungry and restless.  Every time I think life can’t get any bigger and more challenging, it seems to see my bet and raise me.

The past twelve months have been a wild ride and like any wild ride it has been filled with both the ups and the downs.  With thousands of pictures which have marked the moments I thought it would be a good way to look back at the last 8760 hours.  Starting with January here it is:

Florida trip....with a concussion thanks to this cute little golden doodle nugget. 

This was the year we decided to expand our clinic and after months of discussion and nail biting, we took the leap and signed the papers.  We were once again in the middle of construction and if I can find a silver liing from the experience of construction the first time around in 2012, it’s that we learned so much and subsequently this time around was much smoother.

For the second year in a row, one of my Saturday morning training runs was 50 miles.  This was me 30 + miles in.

For the second year in a row, I signed on the dotted line and commited to running a 100 miles.  This year however, because of several factors, I downgraded to the 100k.  There was a time when I would have pushed through the 100 miles out of fear and stubbornness.  This year I allowed myself to be ok with just 100 k.

For the second  year in a row I was able to experience Ireland and the Celtic Traverse 300.  Words cannot describe the experience of the country or the people.

 But even better, coming home after two weeks to the biggest dose of love! 

And being home for the 4th of July! 

One of my all time favorite races was a part of my summer, the Dances with Dirt 50k holds so many memories and continues to be a must for me in July!

My summer was filled with highs and lows.  I was so lucky to be able to spend some days with my favorite little guy and with my three favorite girls. 

There were some moments that were scary, including my mom being hospitalized with a blood clot in her lung which thankfully was discovered.   The month that followed was challenging and emotional however the outcome could have so easily been life alterning.  I am grateful beyond words.

After years of listing it on my goals, I finally bought a motorcycle and learned to ride. Yes in that order. Those of you who know me are not surprised at all by that.

A simple plan to take sunset pictures turned into a 5 hour ordeal as I joined a search party for a missing boy on the trails.  My girl, Ellie & I were exhausted by the time it ended after midnight but when the little boy was found safely every bit of it was worth it. 

My first motorcycle ride in the rain.

Garth Brooks concert!

Finally getting my dog door installed, one step closer to the 3 year project completion.  Fence,  6 foot penned area, dog door.  Now just a dog house and security camera and it will be done.

Ball game with the girls from work!

Being able to take notice of the little things that make me smile....like this view from my windshield when I left the office.

Yearly visit to Little Farmer.  Some years I have been in snow pants and jacket this year was shorts and sunburn!

Craigs visit home.

2500 miles on my motorcycle,

    hundreds of sunset pictures.

Trick or treating with my favorite little guy!

The Sears Tower Climb...again!

Hundreds of miles on the trails with my girls

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And great pictures from the trails

Thanksgiving...a ride through the park so my mom could see the snow trees led to this incredible photo, and first time ever running with one of my favorite persons on the planet! 

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Ability to have my mom and Maggie with me at the office.  If I have to work 

on a Saturday, I can focus on being grateful for my conditions. 

 

Christmas brought me the dog house and the wi fi pet camera.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day runs

New Years Eve 

Girls Best Friend

Pictures: All Kinds of Christmas Love

Reflections

Beautiful dark morning runs

Blog: Best Run -Grattitude!

Thanksgiving Day Park Pictures

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Risk and Sighting

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. ~ Brene Brown

I had an opportunity to set some boundaries in a relationship this week, which never seems to get less uncomfortable for me. Over and over again I struggle to remember that setting boundaries is about loving myself, not about NOT loving someone else.  I know so many people fight this same battle, caught between the fear of disappointing someone else, the fear of not being liked and the fear of rejection.  

When I purposely look at it from a different perspective, it creates a shift which allows me to see things differently which then means I feel them differently. 

What is this situation/person teaching me? 

 If I can find the opportunity in the situation, the lesson in the moment and the value in the experience, I am moving in the right direction.  If all I can experience is the suckiness of the emotions, I know I am stuck.  Refer back to "what is this teaching me?" 

How will this look 6 months from now, a year from now?  

When I remember to remember the way I feel right now is not how I will always feel, and that no matter how big it seems in my head and heart right now, it won't always be that big, I am able to shift from drowning in the emotions and make my way back to the surface. 

I think of this much like the process of sighting.  When I was training for Ironman, swimming was my biggest challenge.  In the process of learning how to swim I spent hours off course because I didn't know how to sight.  Slipping on my goggles I would put my face in the water, completly focused on breathing and keeping my body afloat.  In short, I have described it as a desperate effort, every second, not to drown.  

I was so focused on this in fact that I would churn through the water, focused only on not drowning and I would forget, again and again, to look up to see where I was going.  In fact I hated looking up. Every time I pulled my head up, I would lose momentum, my feet would drop causing my body to drag, and worst of all I would experience the "oh shit" moment of failure because invariably I was way the hell off course.

 Eventually  I got better at it, although it remained a struggle for me. I was so desperate to keep moving, that I had to continuosly challenge my resisistance.  

Life seems to have a lot of similarities to swimming and sighting.  I have to remind myself that if I am looking up, looking out at my destination rather than frantically churning through the water, I can take a moment to breath and see what the stuff ahead looks like.  

So when I struggle to see the lesson or opportunity and I am stuck in how big the discomfort feels in the moment, I challenge my resistance and look out at the horizon.  It seems far away and sometimes feels like it will be so much work to get there, but I take a breath and start to move.  Even if it means I may disappoint someone or they may not like me.