One of my stress relievers has always been to doodle and play with crayons. In the days leading up to Ironman I found myself doing this more than usual, perhaps as a way to check out and hid from my racing thoughts. The irony of the picture I drew doesn't escape me and me laugh at myself as I arrived at Athlete Central last week. I was transformed many times from my normal level of average self acceptance to an insecure and flubberish outcast. Not really of course, but my fear whispered this and much more in my ear. I was relieved to see pictures of myself which confirmed my fear was wrong...mostly.....
The strange thing is that I kind of like her, no I really like her. Although I seemed to be sketching out my alter ego, she has a certain kind of appeal. Despite her appeal I was grateful for the reality check. And thanks to two people who spent 7 minutes in my life, I have a finish line picture that looks a bit better than my goofy doodle. When I look at the picture of the finish line, there is a massive disconnect between what I see and how I felt. Which is true of most days for many of us. I am looking forward to putting words to my experience and can only hope I do it justice. In the meantime I will accept that most days I am a little of both pictures combined.
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